A transcript of Marjory Stoneman Douglas shooter Nikolas Cruz's confession to police released Monday says the 19-year-old used Advil to try to kill himself two months before the Feb. 14th high school massacre.
During the confession, Cruz also told Broward Sheriff's officers that he had spent about $4,000 on three shotguns and three rifles at a store and had done so legally.
Cruz did say his bad side, "the demon," had considered going to a park to shoot at people three weeks before he walked into a building at the Parkland school and killed 17 people and wounded 17 others.
"I hear demons ... a voice, demon voice," Cruz, 19, said, according to the confession transcripts.
He also said that he had abused Xanax, because it made the demon go away. He said he had also used marijuana to silence the voices and alcohol to try to kill himself, according to a 217-page redacted transcript that the state attorney's office released Monday.
Cruz said there was an evil male voice that had ordered him to burn, kill and destroy for years. When detectives asked Cruz if he wanted cold water, Cruz said, "I don't deserve it." When detectives left the room to get the water, Cruz said, "Just kill me. Just f--- ing kill me. F---!"
Cruz also added he hears "the voice" more at night.
"There is one half that's a good and then the bad," Cruz said.
He said the voice made him feel less alone.
"I have someone in my head who I can talk to about it ... to have somebody ... because I have no one," Cruz said.